Revolutionary plan to save whole damn world

(U-WIRE) LINCOLN, Neb. – As you may have heard, the world has a ton of problems. Today I’m going to deviate from that norm by leaving my usual Green Party-esque leanings to steal a page from the book of fascism.
I don’t imagine it’s necessary to give you statistics on how frequently parents abuse or neglect their offspring. Odds are you’ve had someone tell you a very intense opinion on abortion.
Well, I have a plan to nearly eradicate child abuse, unwanted pregnancies and the need for abortion while simultaneously keeping children out of the foster system and in loving families. It shall be called Breeding Licenses: My Revolutionary Plan to Save the Whole Damn World.
Any moron with 10 minutes and the back seat of a Grand Am can become a parent.
The way I see it, if children are only born to reasonably intelligent, nonviolent parents who honestly want kids and have the necessary ability and means to care for them, the world can only improve.
In my plan, in order to get a license to breed, prospective parents over the age of 18 must pass physical and mental health and IQ tests; take a lengthy course on parenting and pass its final exam; undergo an audit for financial stability (it should be noted this audit will NOT immediately discriminate against poor people, rather, it’s intended to discriminate against those with no fiscal responsibility). They will have a background check for any convictions for violent or sexual offenses.
Under this system, applicants must really WANT a baby.
You may be wondering how I intend to prevent unlicensed people from getting pregnant.
This will be accomplished by mandatory reversible sterilization. I looked into this quite thoroughly and decided: Norplant or Implanon for females and RISUG (which stands for Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance) for males. Norplant is a set of six tubes implanted usually in the arm during a simple doctor’s visit and is good for about five years with a 99-percent effectiveness rate and a relatively low number of adverse side effects.
It works by thickening the mucus to the cervix, thinning the uterine lining and stopping ovulation. Fertility can be returned easily by removing the tubes.
RISUG is still in its clinical testing phase. Most people haven’t even heard of it. It’s a vas occlusive method, which means it blocks the flow of sperm or renders them dysfunctional.
RISUG is injected. Its 99.9-percent effectiveness is good for up to 10 years, and clinical trials have found little adverse side effects.
Should fertility need to be returned, the treatment can be reversed by flushing out the vas deferens with a sodium bicarbonate solution.
In my plan, all citizens over the age of 12 who wanted employment, admission into schools, government assistance or medical treatment would undergo or be tested for this reversible sterilization. After receiving a license, the sterilization would be reversed.
That’s all there is to it, a very simple solution to almost all of society’s ills.
Here are some of the most commonly noted possible limitations.
– Temporary increase in sexually transmitted disease rates: this one can easily be counteracted by thorough sexual education.
– Potential discrimination and abuse: Any system run by humans always faces this possibility, although with standardized rules for license approval and an appeals process, unfair practices can be avoided.
– Church backlash: The Catholic church and many other groups will undoubtedly be displeased because of religious teachings against any form of birth control.
– The potential tortured but brilliant artists that would never be born: this argument sounds reasonable at first, but this logic quite easily leads to a crazy, dogmatic “every sperm is sacred” mentality.
Finally:
– A fascist precedent: This one is the most troubling for me as a die-hard liberal. My political views tend to be inordinately left-of-center and this plan of mine is a bit conservative.
Most importantly, there are numerous benefits to my plan. Consider these obvious repercussions: curbing overpopulation, conservation of natural resources, lower taxes, smaller class sizes, less street crime, less child abuse and neglect, no unwanted pregnancies, no need for abortion, adopted kids, no shotgun weddings and finally, thorough training and education for parents can only improve parenting skills.
OK, now you’ve heard the gist of my Revolutionary Plan to Save the Whole Damn World. You must admit that although this plan may be a tad on the fascist side, I make some pretty good points, and at least it made you think.