Sista’ Girl, Rise Up: The Reflection Pt. 1

The first piece of this series, as anticipated, resulted in many questions from readers, questions that I wish could be answered all at once. However, my allotted portions in these issues, precisely regarding length, won’t permit it. One matter that I deemed necessary to reflect on was the question, “How do we remain faithful and loving to our men when they won’t love, or even respect us?”
I hardly agree with the phrase “easier said than done”, but in this case, I must be fair. I too, a young African-American woman, have been victim to black men’s unwillingness to love and respect me. Notice I didn’t use “or”, because love and respect is the same, regardless of how the social media era will define the two. What seems to be our men’s reluctant nature can surely result in a woman, or a child’s, heartache and bitterness. If you let it, the impact will leave you resentful and desperate to never endure those feelings again from a brown skinned man. Before this happens, we as creators of those brown skinned men must remember that they aren’t born to mistreat their sisters and mothers, but something along the way negatively influenced them. We must forgive them for taking their pain out on us, and we must not reciprocate that energy.
Whatever it is that went wrong in that black man’s life to make him anything less than passionate about loving his queens, that is the true issue. This results in the detriment of the man not reflecting on the history he has with the black woman. Throughout the essential means of our existence, people of different races have consistently conspired to break the bond between us two, attempting to convince us that we are inferior to them. To let those people succeed at breaking our union honestly leaves us with nothing to live for, because the disconnection between us two is a gargantuan factor in why we don’t progress together as one.
Together, we are invincible, which is a great reason for people with hate in their hearts to do everything in their powers to break our bond. As black women, it is our job to be reminders to our brothers when they forget. Remind him that he needs us, just as much as we need him. The world turns its back on both of us, we all have to console one another. Remind him that the eternal love he possess for his mother should reflect in his every care for every brown skinned woman that looks like her, because his daughter will look and behave like both of them.
Be patient with our men as well. Just as we are trying to reinvent ourselves as women of a collectively confused culture, so are they; although the cycle of disunion needs to be broke ASAP, and reflection is critical for the process).
Sistas, strength runs through our blood. Let’s be strong enough for our people and embody what love, authenticity, passion and humbleness means. Our men need us, and we need them. For the sake of saving black love, the family and our people, collectively.