Staying focused: Why You Shouldn’t Date in College

As seen by the “Whose (ninja emoticon)” group chat, true love does not exist. It’s simply a fable curated by fairytales and storybooks. And this is why you should not wish to fall in love while in college.
For starters, you should prioritize your school work. Fall in love with those books and multiple-paged, double-spaced, APA-formatted essays. Then, and only then will your mouth salivate at the sight of a green “submitted” check on your screen as opposed to a red “declined” FaceTime phone call. It’s really all a science. Once you can find joy and happiness through your work, who needs love, right?
Secondly, they are probably seeing other people. Not to rip a few bandaids off, but this is college. Very few people are trying to settle down and find a wife or a husband at this point. It’s a given that most will try to date as many as possible to find “the one,” and, quite frankly, it’s probably not anybody on your current roster, sis or bro. And before you ask, “who hurt you?” I’ll save you the heartache… I only have room for 400-ish words.
Finally, it’s my opinion that your best relationships will likely come later on in life. After the players have played, the cheaters have cheated, the talking stages have talking staged, and the heartbreak playlists have been playlisted, you will finally determine what you will and won’t accept in a committed relationship. Your experiences of despair and loneliness will only turn into something beautiful, and you will be open to receiving and reciprocating a solid, unwavering commitment. So don’t lose hope, just hang in there a little while longer.
But, in case you haven’t realized this is a satire, let’s not lose sight of what we came here for: that glorious moment when we cross those blue and gold sands into the Jaguar Nation on graduation day. We’ll receive our degrees and the group chats, text message threads, and adolescent drama of the past will be memories emblazoned in the fabrics of our college years. So, with all this to say, leave the group chats alone and do you, regardless.