Drinking Stinks

For the record, I have never, ever had a “drink” of any kind. I don’t even know what the stuff taste like. But most of my old cronies include alcoholics and drunks. I’d say that I have slipped on enough vomit and seen enough grown men slumped over in fetal positions, and hung over in a drunken stupor to know that I’m better off not trying.
However, I can recall a time that I was tempted to “sip on somethin’” so I could loosen up at a party and “get my groove on” like everybody else. I thought a drink might intensify the moment and allow me to temporarily step away from my “self” just long enough to get “freaky” on the dance floor. What stopped me was the memory of a “tragic accident” one of my friends had some time before.
Some friends and I were vacationing in Hawaii. It definitely was not the exotic paradise we had expected it to be, but nevertheless we made it a fun trip. During the trip, we toured the island, hit the beach, and basically saw everything there was to see. On one particular day of the trip, one of my good friends had been drinking Crown Royal all day long. He began to act rowdy, and soon separated himself from the group.
Later that night, we found him being thrown out of a nightclub by security. When we approached the scene, we noticed that our drunken friend was half dressed and one of the security team members was handing him his shoes. They explained to us that he was being kicked out for stripping on the dance floor (something he was famous for doing after heavily drinking). So we gathered his clothes and decided to take him back to the hotel room. He could barely move his legs to walk, so we wound up carrying him most of the way there. When we got there, he passed out on the floor.
As we sat in the room unwinding from the day, we noticed a rancid odor permeating the air, as if someone had passed gas. It got stronger and stronger, and we began to point fingers. Each of my friends denied ownership of the foul scent, except the one who was drunk and asleep. As we approached him, we deducted where the source of the smell was coming from. Our intoxicated partner had a “tragic accident” on himself. As I turned my nose in disgust at that moment, and as I think back on the incident I have to ask my “self”, is this supposed to be fun? Drinking really does stink!