Straight “G” Awards Again

Once again it’s time for the Straight “G” Awards. Now I must admit that it was a bit harder to hand out awards this semester because–let’s face it–not too much happened this semester.
But fear not, I have compiled a short list of award winners who I felt were truly deserving.
Keep in mind that receiving a “G” award is not a good thing… it’s a great thing. (Well it is for some candidates, others may not like the recognition.)
A lot of thought and time was put into this project. I searched high and low for this bull….oh, I almost lost myself…anyway, a whole lot of work was put in here for you to enjoy.
I assembled a dream team of judges who thoroughly combed through the nominees to bring to you only the best of the best.
So sit back in your seats and get ready for the second ever Straight “G” awards.
The first and most important award is the O.G. Award winner, which goes to Coach Sandy Pugh for that excellent coaching job she did with the women’s basketball team. Keep up the good work.
Ben Jobe, you still cool, but Pugh has knocked you out the box.
Keeping it in a basketball frame of mind the award for Best Athletic Team of the Year goes to the Women’s basketball team.
As for the men…well…maybe next year…maybe…
The Best Campaign of the Election Season “G” award goes to Erica Walton. (That fire truck idea was perfect, my only problem was that I couldn’t get a ride.) This girl had visors, cups, shirts, bandanas…did I mention the fire truck?! Take notes wannabe campus queens.
The Oops I Dropped It Award goes to our news editor Gabrielle for dropping her cell phone down a drain on the Strip. (Then she had the nerve to ask a cop to get it for her.)
The Thanks for the Candy Award goes to all the candidates who gave me candy.
The Latest Campus Anthem Award goes to the Big Tymers for “Still Fly.” (Looks like every time a car pass, all you hear is that song.)
The award for the Absolutely Worst Washers and Dryers in this school goes to those in Moore Hall. (One minute they work, the next they broke and finally people are robbing them for all the money they lost.)
The What Were You Thinking Award goes to the SUPD officer who let the guy who was arrested for breaking in dorms use the restroom and escape.
The Is This Really a Concert Award goes to whoever booked the Springfest concert. (You’ll see what I mean when or if you attend.)
Please Leave the Lil Girl Alone Award goes to R. Kelly. (Nuff said).
The I Know I Ain’t Eating This Food No Mo Award goes to our facilities of fine dining on campus, Mayberry and Dunn halls for those tasty meals they serve us each and every day.
The Get Ready for the 2004 Olympics Award goes to Brian Johnson. (Forget basketball go and get a gold medal.)
The Bad Editing Award goes to the DIGEST staff members who let “regisration” get published. (Just to let you know I wasn’t there that night.)
The That Girl Crazy Award goes to KeKe Wyatt after stabbing her husband several times in the chest, arms and hands. (With the money she makes, don’t you think she could have paid someone to do that for her?)
The “G” Award for Best DIGEST Editor (excluding yours truly) goes to my main man Willie Siglar.
The Ride For Me Awards goes to all my boys for having my back at Upscale that night. (They know who I’m talking to.)
And finally the Great Job on TV Award goes to the band. (They represented themselves and the University well on that LPB documentary.)
Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the second ever Straight “G” Awards. I would like to congratulate all the winners.
And to all who haven’t received an award, with a little hard work, determination and some humiliation, you too will be able to achieve the excellence of winning a “G” Award.