Memoirs of a couch potato

Everyone has a little dirty laundry.
Imagine a neighborhood where you have neighbor whose estranged husband died because her boyfriend poisoned him?
Then you have another neighbor who committed suicide because someone sent a letter stating that they knew she murdered a homeless crack-addicted mother because she and her husband wanted to keep the child?
But, you are having an affair with the gardener (who is a minor and gets you pregnant) because your husband, who will be going to prison in a matter of months for money laundering, will not give you the attention you desire.
If you have imagined it, then you must have seen ABC’s dark comedy hit, “Desperate Housewives”.
From the outside, “Desperate Housewives” gives the impression of a mundane look at the lives of housewives who are ‘desperate’ for more than what their present lives are offering. But in fact, the show is anything but boring. Truthfully, it is down right satirical. Everything from the plot to the characters are over the top.
Most of the action takes place in an unnamed city on Wisteria Lane.
Although it is a manicured suburb on the outside, Wisteria Lane is responsible for holding the secrets of Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher), Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman), Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross), Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria), Edie Britt (Nicollette Sheridan) and new neighbor Betty Applewhite (Alfre Woodard).
The story begins and ends with Mary Alice Young (Brenda Strong).
Even though she is not an active cast member, her suicide starts the story and she narrates the daily lives of the housewives from beyond the grave.
In a sarcastic like tone, Mary Alice details the sticky situations these six women seem to find themselves in.
By all accounts, Hatcher is the star of the show, borrowing physical comedy tactics from Lucille Ball, Hatcher trips, falls, crashes and bumps all over Wisteria Lane and her love life.
Between rekindling a relationship with her ex-husband who lives a few houses down with his new girlfriend Edie, giving her former boyfriend’s son money to search for his adopted father in Utah and committing insurance fraud so her present boyfriend can operate on her spleen, Susan is the friend who cannot function without a daily dose of drama.
But this season scene stealers are Cross and Longoria. The characters they play, Gabrielle and Bree could not be any different.
Working her way for abject poverty, Gabrielle hit the jackpot when she married Carlos Solis (Ricardo Chavira). A former model, Gabrielle has vowed only two things in her life; never have children and be poor.
But Carlos, who’s conservative upbringing forces him to tamper with Gabrielle’s birth control pills, it is he who is surprised when his wife reviles to him that the baby may not be his.
It is not until Gabrielle gets into a fist fight with a nun that she realizes that her body is not going to keep Carlos satisfied.
And then there is the well breed and cunning Bree, the housewife who will do anything to keep her reputation clean.
When her son Andrew hits Carlos’ mother with his car on dark night, it is Bree who conceives of the idea to take the car to a dangerous part of town and have someone steal the car.
When Andrew decides that he no longer wants to live with Bree, he runs to his grandparents and tells them what has been going on.
After his grandparents decide that Andrew should move back with them, Bree “accidentally” leaves a box of gay pornography in her parent’s parents.
Reviling to them that Andrew is gay.
Unlike daily soap operas and other adult dramas, “Desperate Housewives” has believable plots and excellent writers.
The dialogue is witty, and the women who play the housewives are properly chosen.
They do not just act the parts of Edie, Susan, Bree, Lynette, Betty or Gabrielle they embody them.
So next Sunday, at 8 p.m. on ABC, please watch “Desperate Housewives” and then join the group on Facebook.