I Think I Need a Little ‘R & R’

Look, I am not talking about “rest and relaxation,” I am talking about “reparations and refunds.”
Not just any reparations-and not the kind of reparations that you get for slavery from the federal government. I am talking about reparations for stuff that happens now; refunds that you just can not get from a soda machine.
First of all, I want reparations from Southern University for two parking tickets I received last year.
You see, when you get a ticket, it is a form of an arrest and the people who issued the tickets were not exactly police officers. The people who issued tickets were just plain-old traffic people. Not to downgrade them, but they were not exactly in the position to arrest anybody and in this case, I got arrested twice. So, I would like $95 in reparations to cover the tickets and an undetermined additional amount for the miles I put on my car trying to find a place to park and for pain and suffering due to occasional lack of professionalism.
Next, I want a refund (probably in the next 30 days). I want a refund from Southern and the Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development for the tires that I am going to have to buy because of the potholes and other road conditions on Harding Blvd. Also included is the price of an alignment and tire balancing.
OK, now I want a refund from Southern because I am tired of seeing members of the faculty who are not properly placed in their prospective department according to their major or degree. For example, many faculty members are getting the “hook up” according to whom they know, whom they are related to or whom they are married to and it is a waste of my tuition and tax dollars.
People are being placed in managerial positions making $40K+, when there are instructors struggling to pay rent with a base-pay $25-30K salary. So I want a refund because these people do not have the training to be in their department and to get them additional or the required training takes up additional man hours and that is not fair.
I mean, I like hook-ups and everything, but if I can’t gain anything from it, why pursue it?
How can you not be educated in a specific department and work at an educational institution? Who is going to get any kind of learning from you?
Lastly, I want a refund from the United States Government, specifically, the Executive Branch. This preparation for war crap is getting quite disgusting and to be honest, it is all for the sake of oil.
Why do we have to go through such measures to go out and find weapons of mass destruction? We might have these weapons right here in our own country. After all, where was the first atomic bomb manufactured? Now, what if we find them and they blow up while we are looking for them? My grandma said that you should never go to someone else’s house to fight them….
Folks are getting naked everywhere in the name of peace. France, Germany and other nations don’t even want to be on our side. With allies like them, who needs North Korea and Iraq? So, I want a refund of the money that is paying for these gas hikes.
I would like to welcome home my brother Terry and the 769th Battalion from Afghanistan.
…And that’s the way I see it…