The things we do to get what we want

You finally meet someone you think is different from the others. You are enthusiastic about the prospect of a long-term relationship. Then you begin to find out things that you are not thrilled about. In the end, it turns out that this person is exactly like the others.
In all areas of life, you attract not what you want, but what you feel you deserve-from the job you have, to where you spend your vacation, and to the clothes you wear. These decisions are determined by what you feel comfortable with. On a conscious level, you may feel worthy of a beautiful and fulfilling relationship; on an unconscious level, you’re telling yourself a different story. When you get what you feel you deserve, you feel comfortable; when you get more than you feel worthy of, you feel uneasy and anxious.
If you continually find yourself in unhealthy relationships, you need to review what you want, not what you’re used to. It’s like that brother that will only marry an ugly woman. This way she will never cheat on him; even if she did, he would not care. Because you feel undeserving, you continue to pursue the relationship merely because that’s what you are comfortable with. A relationship with someone that you deem “perfect” causes you to be anxious.
If you stay in a relationship that you are unhappy with, it’s because you don’t want to face another failure in your life. After all the effort and time put into the relationship, you don’t want to admit it was a mistake. You continue to “try to make things work,” and so the cycle continues. The more effort you put into making things work,, the harder it is to abandon your efforts.
As this cycle continues, you grow more dependent, to the point that your very identity is intertwined with this person. The end of the relationship is seen as the loss of part of yourself. This is exactly why people stay in abusive relationships. The formula goes as follows: Low self-esteem clouds your judgment in choosing a partner, and then refusal to admit a mistake causes you to stay in the relationship. You’re then forced to rationalize why you stay, and the only explanation you can find is that this is all you are worthy of. Your self-concept continues to diminish until you feel the only thing you have is your lousy relationship and you’ll be damned if you give that up too.
In the end, you attract not the person you want but the person who reinforces who you think you are. If you are unhappy with yourself, then you attract someone who makes you more unhappy. What you send out is what you get back. If you are filled with jealousy and anger, you tend to attract people with similar traits.
Everyday people make decisions based not on where they want to be, but where they feel comfortable. Reevaluate. Ask yourself, “What would I do if I could truly have the things the way I want?”
Whether male or female, passive people tend to be single people. Don’t be afraid to approach that someone who you have been eyeing, you never know what might happen.