Roaches, life and eternal darkness

I had several epiphanies some days ago as I stood over the squashed body of a cockroach I had just brutally killed. As my shadow eclipsed it’s lifeless shell, my mind reflected back to those previous moments when the helpless creature lay on it’s back waving it’s tiny, insect legs in total despair. I thought about its fear at that moment and my callousness to its fears as it realized it’s time had been appointed to die.
I thought back to that moment of intense angst when I raised the broom to kill the roach. It didn’t matter to me that the creature meant me no harm and all it was trying to do was fulfill its purpose in life: survival. Its life was irrelevant, as well as inconvenient, to me. All I knew was that I hated roaches and this one had to die. It was only after I had committed the deed that I realized I had actually taken a life. Because of me, there was a new void in the blackness of eternity.
Before I swept up its remnants to flush them out of my memory, I thought about the brevity of life and the finality and eternity of death.
As I wiped up the smeared evidence of death, I thought about the many people whose lives would end before the sun rose to announce a new morning. I also thought about the young brother who was senselessly murdered on this very campus some days before and the family left behind to deal with it. I envisioned the empty desks in the classrooms he used to occupy that are now only reminders of the vicious tragedy. All of his moments of joy, happiness, and laughter ended in violence. Another black “finger” had been subtracted from the “fist.” Another black mind will never have a chance to elevate and produce greatness.
My mind went back to that cockroach that I had just murdered and how I had cast it into eternal darkness because of my hatred toward him. I sat down, closed my eyes, and covered my ears and tried to imagine being a dead insect. I tried to imagine what it felt like not to exist anymore, but I couldn’t because I was still alive. And then I thought about how we look like roaches in the eyesight of God when we wallow in our own iniquity. I still hate roaches, and God HATES sin. If we continue to live a life of sin, like the roach, we will be cast into eternal darkness.