Gimme WAY Less, Please

I, like millions of other reward show junkies tuned in on Sunday to watch the highly anticipated 2007 Music Television Video Music Awards to not only see a celebrity packed show, but to weigh in on the supposed comeback of one Britney Spears. Would she finally stop the gossip rags from wagging their tongues about the recently rehabbed starlet? Would the divorced mother of two top her former MTV VMA show openings by surpassing the likes of a yellow python and a shared kiss with Madonna?
From the first half-hearted thrust to the barely there lip-synched lyrics of “Gimme More,” Britney’s newest single from her not so anticipated album, I along with everyone who was watching and actually in attendance, prayed for the end.
Comedienne Sarah Silverman summed the five or so minutes after the lackluster performance better than, I think, anyone could. “Wow. She is amazing. She is a 25-year-old and she’s already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life. It’s mind-blowing.”
Personally, I was rooting for the Kentwood native. I wanted her to come out on stage, dance like she’s never danced before in her career, while singing the best-written pop song she and a team of writers could have possibly written, complete with gut wrenching lyrics and tear jerking hooks. I just knew that all those “M&M” performances around the country with torn fishnet stocking and white go-go boots were a farce to throw the masses from her explosive MTV comeback. Right?
Right?
I was horrified for her. Maybe I was projecting my personal feelings and emotions towards my television screen, but it felt like even the dancers sensed that they were sinking on SS Spears. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson’s wide-open gapping stare at Brit expressed what I’m sure he was thinking, “God, please. Make it stop.”
The comeback that never was put yet another nail in the coffin of Britney Spear’s as soon as she attempted to explain away the rehearsal like routine, “I was nervous, y’all!” I’m sure.
Spears is apart of the 2007 breakdown of the young, Hollywood starlet’s predisposition of celebrity status. After Paris Hilton served 23 days in a Los Angeles jail for violating probation, I realized that Hollywood wasn’t allowing it’s untalented celebutantes get away with murder anymore. Britney and Lindsay Lohan have both gone to rehab, although, at this point and time, all I can say is that nothing positive has come of it. The career saving move of rehabilitation for each lady may have come months too late.
After Britney, her wig/weave combination and her pride left the stage, I came to a conclusion: I didn’t want her to gimme anything other than the last five minutes of my life.