Memoirs of a Couch Potato

Like many of us in high school, we asked our parents for a lot of things. Bigger rooms, nicer cars, clothes and maybe even digital cable for the television sets in our bedrooms. Before writing this column, I wasn’t a big television watcher.
I had my favorite shows, but for the most part I tried to stay away from it as much as possible, I’m a book reader. In fact, I didn’t have a television my freshmen year!
But I do love watching movies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen “RENT”, “Troy” or “Kill Bill” in my room while doing homework.
So for this spring break, I packed all the DVD’s I had, including my “Boondocks” and “The L Word” series box sets into my suitcase. I had three term papers to write and I needed something to keep me busy.
That’s when I discovered my mom got digital cable.
I’m no mathematician, but I clearly recall asking her about adding some extra movie channels to our basic cable and I got the usual response, “We don’t have enough money.”
Fast-forward three years, I’m a junior in college and I have a new car. “I just combined our phone bills with the internet and cable for a cheaper price,” I was told.
Yet I’m in college with a new car. Anyway, I turned on the television and basked in the glory of Direct TV. And you know what I did, watch “Pulp Fiction” and “Sin City” all week. I saw other things as well, but every time those two movies would appear on the screen, I had to watch.
Blackstarz had a tribute to Spike Lee where they played some of his classic movies like “Girl 6”, “Summer of Sam”, “School Daze” and “Do The Right Thing”, but I opted to watch “Purple Rain.”
There’s this one button called ‘auto tune’ that lets you schedule the shows you want to watch and it turns to that channel for you when the time comes. I had my schedule mapped out till 6 a.m. the next day.
Then my mom would slither into my room to comment on how incredible digital cable was. I didn’t entertain her conversation. All these years I’ve begged for this and now she gets it! Who did she get it for? I know my cat-Tina-doesn’t watch television.
Is this the norm for parents, wait until their kids leave and then upgrade? My mom is talking about getting a camera phone. She never needed the phone before so why now?
I’m having Direct TV withdrawal symptoms. Yesterday I tried to watch a 200 level channel and this morning I flipped through the stations hoping a good movie would be on.
Nothing.
Now it’s back to shaking the cable cord hoping to get a better picture while watch “The Hills” on MTV.